I’ve wanted to be a mommy from an early age, as young as I can remember. Like many women, I would day dream about being pregnant. I would imagine what my children would look like, surely they would look just like me. NOPE:( I would dream of reading countless books to them, fixing their hair, playing softball out in the backyard, beach trips, and all things fun. I wanted nothing more than to be a mommy and to experience that kind of love.
I never thought about if something went wrong. My children struggling in any way never crossed my mind. Everything was picture perfect.
My oldest daughter is 10 years old and has been very active since day 1. I just wrote it off as being very outgoing and typical toddler behavior. Now that she is older and in school, we had started noticing issues with lack of focus, not following directions, comprehension and falling very behind in school with a couple dozen more issues. What we had been writing off as immature or being “quirky” was becoming something we had to address. We had to finally realize something is a little “off” and we are going to confront it and take some action. I’m not here to rattle off a bunch of symptoms only to spook you and then you get yourself on the internet and start reading articles and then diagnose your child with 3 different things as you climb into fetal position. I’m so guilty of that, OMG its happened too many times.
My conversations with my husband now daily involve the words, ADD, ADHD, learning disorder, dyslexic, medication, IEP, occupational therapy, neurological specialist, developmental specialist and that list goes on. So many labels being thrown around. I think for some, they are a godsend. For others, they are a stigmatizing opinion. I go from heartbreak to gratitude that we somewhat know what is going on. I realize that for her to get the help she needs like therapy and special classes that we have to have an official label.
Those labels, though. Dangerous. That’s where I get stuck. Wanting to know, but then wanting to forget. Since starting this journey I am way more aware of my words.
“Focus on your schoolwork! You’re so easily distracted.”
“Your being very immature, you need to act your age”
“She’s my add daughter.”
“She’s the one who struggles”
“Why are you so difficult?”
Use a label long enough and our kids are going to start believing it and then owning it believing that’s how God made them, it’s who they are and it will always be that way. Even if it’s true, its damaging and it certainly is not Gods way. Proverbs 18:21 says that our words either give life or death. I like all of you mommas want to speak life into my daughter and I will be honest and say it’s going to take effort to think before I just spew out nastiness, but talk to her like she is a daughter of a King, a child of God. As mommas we get the high calling of being the voice our kids hear the most while they are little. “Speaking life is naming out loud the things that you believe your child is becoming…even if they aren’t “there” yet.” And All the praise hands here, right? I wrote this down in church years ago from my Pastor. I LOVE IT!!!
Speaking life is full of love, grace and a confidence that God is doing an amazing great work in our child’s life. God has an amazing plan for my child and yours, one so much greater than we can even imagine. His plans are to prosper them and to give them hope and a future. I looked up “prosper” online and some other words for it are to thrive, prevail and triumph. YES, Lord!! Sounds like some serious victory talk, right?! Mommas, it starts with us and our words. They will become what you tell them they will be. Even if it starts small, maybe today, just hold them and look at them in their eyes and speak life.
The future is blessed for my child. — “For I know the plans I have for you, ” says the Lord, They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
My child lives under a heavy anointing. -Isaiah 10:27