Category Archives: God

Orphan Sunday

 

Ya. Today is a special day because its Orphan Sunday. Sadly, most churches aren’t aware of this or simple just don’t talk about it..

Deanna Wallace says this “God, the Father of all fatherless, adopts us into His family and gives us a place to belong, an inheritance and an identity. Orphan Sunday declares that every orphan from all corners of the world needs a family to belong to, an inheritance and an identity.” A to the men!

Some good Pastor friends of ours in Georgia asked us to put together a short little video on our hearts for Adoption for this special day. This was the 3rd time shooting it.  First it was lighting issues. Then, their were kid issues, like the sounds of them chasing each other with a sword and grapes…?? I know, strange. It just wasn’t the background music we were looking for. HA . Be near Lord.

Power of our words

 

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I’ve wanted to be a mommy from an early age, as young as I can remember. Like many women, I would day dream about being pregnant. I would imagine what my children would look like, surely they would look just like me. NOPE:( I would dream of reading countless books to them, fixing their hair, playing softball out in the backyard, beach trips, and all things fun.  I wanted nothing more than to be a mommy and to experience that kind of love.

I never thought about if something went wrong. My children struggling in any way never crossed my mind. Everything was picture perfect.

My oldest daughter is 10 years old and has been very active since day 1.  I just wrote it off as being very outgoing and typical toddler behavior. Now that she is older and in school, we had started noticing issues with lack of focus, not following directions, comprehension and falling very behind in school with a couple dozen more issues. What we had been writing off as immature or being “quirky” was becoming something we had to address. We had to finally realize something is a little “off” and we are going to confront it and take some action. I’m not here to rattle off a bunch of symptoms only to spook you and then you get yourself on the internet and start reading articles and then diagnose your child with 3 different things as you climb into fetal position. I’m so guilty of that, OMG its happened too many times.

My conversations with my husband now daily involve the words, ADD, ADHD, learning disorder, dyslexic, medication, IEP, occupational therapy, neurological specialist, developmental specialist and that list goes on. So many labels being thrown around. I think for some, they are a godsend. For others, they are a stigmatizing opinion.  I go from heartbreak to gratitude that we somewhat know what is going on. I realize that for her to get the help she needs like therapy and special classes that we have to have an official label.

Those labels, though. Dangerous. That’s where I get stuck. Wanting to know, but then wanting to forget. Since starting this journey I am way more aware of my words.

“Focus on your schoolwork! You’re so easily distracted.”

“Your being very immature, you need to act your age”

“She’s my add daughter.”

“She’s the one who struggles”

“Why are you so difficult?”

#notproud 

Use a label long enough and our kids are going to start believing it and then owning it believing that’s how God made them, it’s who they are and it will always be that way.  Even if it’s true, its damaging and it certainly is not Gods way. Proverbs 18:21 says that our words either give life or death. I like all of you mommas want to speak life into my daughter and I will be honest and say it’s going to take effort to think before I just spew out nastiness, but talk to her like she is a daughter of a King, a child of God. As mommas we get the high calling of being the voice our kids hear the most while they are little. “Speaking life is naming out loud the things that you believe your child is becoming…even if they aren’t “there” yet.” And All the praise hands here, right? I wrote this down in church years ago from my Pastor. I LOVE IT!!!

Speaking life is full of love, grace and a confidence that God is doing an amazing great work in our child’s life. God has an amazing plan for my child and yours, one so much greater than we can even imagine. His plans are to prosper them and to give them hope and a future. I looked up “prosper” online and some other words for it are to thrive, prevail and triumph. YES, Lord!! Sounds like some serious victory talk, right?!  Mommas, it starts with us and our words. They will become what you tell them they will be. Even if it starts small, maybe today, just hold them and look at them in their eyes and speak life. 

The future is blessed for my child. — “For I know the plans I have for you, ” says the Lord, They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

My child lives under a heavy anointing. -Isaiah 10:27

A God moment and a baby bottle

 

my Skylar

My Skylar

 

My youngest daughter was barely 3 weeks old. My oldest daughter was doing schoolwork and my husband was already back to work. I was recovering from a c-section and trying to function on a few hours of broken up sleep. I was convinced I was going crazy because I found myself bawling at the thought of starting over with a baby when our oldest was 7 years old. We were in the process of adopting a toddler who was sleeping through the night and not in diapers. Did I mention we had been trying to conceive for 14 years? Imagine my disappointment, guilt and shame with myself at thinking these thoughts when this precious baby was what I had pleaded and begged God for. Then, there was the breastfeeding thing. I, honestly hated it. I knew all the benefits of it and wanted to love it, but I didn’t.

Once again, I sat there reeking of shame.

It was feeding time and everybody on our street knew it. Bless her heart. She loves her food. Bottle is warm and ready. I tried for what felt like a hour to get that dang bottle nipple in her mouth, but she wasn’t having it. She was squirmy, somewhat thrashing her head and screaming. Just as the bottle would get to her lips, she would resist it.  I knew she was hungry and the very thing she wanted and needed was right in front of her, but she was too busy fighting it.  I remember myself saying over and over,  “Skylar, its right here. Honey, look, momma has what you want.”  Trying to convince a newborn -exhausting. My face was covered in tears and my heart covered in shame.

God showed up in that moment with a screaming baby, a cold bottle and a momma who was all around a mess dealing with labels, insecurities, fear and a really distorted view of God and what he thought about me.

I am not somebody who goes around saying “Oh, God talked to me last night and then again this morning and actually right now this minute too.” Or maybe he does and I’m just not listening or I write it off as hallucinating and too much coffee. Another devotional another day for that.

I know that I know that He spoke to me this day though. I felt Him gently whisper, “Jada, exactly. Stop trying to push me away, my love for you isn’t going anywhere. Stop looking here and there and making excuses for why you don’t deserve it. Aren’t you tired of fighting? My love is exactly what you need and want.

I wish I could say that day was like a demolition day (Joanna & Chip Gaines style) and all those lies, labels and my view of God was tore down and replaced with the truth, never to come to surface again. I’m so thankful that God is gracious and I know I’ll only be complete in Him. Some sweet ole lady always said in my childhood church, “I’m not who I want to be, but I’m sure not who I used to be.” True story.

There is a song that as the young kids say, “Its my JAM!” This song has become mine. my heart. my cry when the words won’t come.

Your love’s not fractured
It’s not a troubled mind
It isn’t anxious
It’s not the restless kind
Your love’s not passive
It’s never disengaged
It’s always present
It hangs on every word we say
Love keeps its promises
It keep its word
It honors what’s sacred
‘Cause its vows are good
Your love’s not broken
It’s not insecure
Your love’s not selfish
Your love is pure

You don’t give Your heart in pieces
You don’t hide Yourself to tease us

So, pretty much God’s love is perfect. Ya, it can’t mess us up. God is crazy in love with you and me! He loves us madly and passionately- so much that the Word says, “He delights in me and rejoices over with me with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17 May these words become your reality today. You can stop resisting. Stop fighting it. Just stop. His love is all you’ll ever need.

“For the Lord your God is living among you.
He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”
-Zephaniah 3:17

2015 Christmas Fun

The holidays have come and gone. boooooooooohoooooo:( Now, its cold, foggy and rainy for no reason at all and its depressing!!!!!!! Its just fun during months of November and December. Anybody else feel that way?

We had a fun few months with friends and family. Skylar, especially was fun this year with all the Christmas events.. She told me hourly how pretty the Christmas tree was and that the lights are hot. We sang Happy Birthday Jesus and Silent Night about 39 times before bedtime. Actually, we do that everynight. Not kidding. Skylar has always loved those 2 specific songs. Also, we watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas about 4 times a day. That was definitely the movie of this Christmas for us. Ryan made us his special crack, I mean Nutella cookies pretty much every few nights. And I’m not even mad about it. We had several impromptu dance parties on the table to Mariah Carey’s, “All I want for Christmas is you”. One of our favorite traditions is letting the kids open a wrapped book every night starting Dec. 1st. and reading together as a family I would be lying if i said we didn’t miss night. oops.. . Overall, it was a relaxing Christmas vacation and many memories were made with my sweet little family.

Our elves, Colby and Chloe decided to come back, but they had ebola and weren’t their usual selves:(

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Micah and I also did our annual goody bags to hand out to the homeless. It gets more and more special each year as she gets older and understands it. God is using her to bless others and she thinks thats pretty cool.

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little assembly line putting the bags together. Skylar wanted to help too:)

little assembly line putting the bags together. Skylar wanted to help too:)

My sweet family in Old Town enjoying the lights and the 17 fake snow flurries that they blew down. Thx SacTown, you shouldn’t have. (I miss home and real winter)

My sweet family in Old town, enjoying the lights and the 17 fake flurries that they blew down. :)

Micah started a new school this past fall and we are so in love with all the staff and the kids. It really does feel like another family. She got to perform in her first Christmas Production and she was over the moon. That girl rehearsed the heck out of her songs and even had the courage to try out to sign with the senior sign team for a song. Its a huge deal at our school, something they do with excellence. She didn’t make it and their were tears, from both of us. I actually went into the bathroom and curled up in a ball and bawled. I mean, like literally lost my self for a few minutes. It was not easy to see your little girl experience her first real disappointment and hear her say “I wasn’t good enough”.. ohhhh lawd.. gonna stop right now or starbucks gonna have to intervene over here in the corner. Anyway, lesson learned and she’ll be trying out again next opportunity. She’s such a trooper.

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looking too grown up!!!!

looking too grown up!!!!

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Remember those impromptu dance parties I mentioned above?? Oh yeeeeeah, got some of them on video.. This 1st video is absolutely my favorite cause it has my niece in it. She’s not shy, but she is little more reserved than my Micah and tried for several hours to find my phone and delete this video. Someday, she will thank me for posting it:) And Whitney!!!! Need I say more?!?!?!? She just makes me come alive. Just gotta dance!!! But seriously, she’s my all time favorite. Makes me sad that she is no longer here;(. Again, tears. For the love, Jada! ok.. Pulling it together.

And then it was Christmas Zumba time!!!!!!!!!!

My husband and I are always looking for opportunities to give. God has blessed us over and above and its such a honor to just pass it on to others. A few months ago, God placed a family on my heart as I was praying that God would show me a family that we could love on and shower with gifts… Who doesn’t like receiving presents? I’m not gonna lie, I’m a huge fan of gifts!! Its my love language, just FYI. We did some fb stalking to figure out likes and stuff about them, etc. it’s a family we don’t even know well, but had met a few times. It’s been fun and a blessing to love on them like this and sure will bring some extra smiles.. Micah said as we were running the gifts from the car to their porch trying to be quiet, but both of us was so giddy that we should do this every year!! And a new tradition has now been born!!!!

this was actually our 1st stop, dropping off little tokens of our love to some new and forever friends

this was actually our 1st stop, dropping off little tokens of our love to some new and forever friends

 

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us little elves:)

Even though this post is after Christmas, I hope your Christmas was full of love. “Christmas is a togethery sort of holiday,” said Pooh. “That’s my favorite kind,” said Piglet. I couldn’t agree more. 

Merry Christmas,

Jada